TIFT #46 Adult Temper Tantrums tift Mar 01, 2022


This post was originally published six years ago and is updated here. As indicated in TIFT #1, I continue to be impressed with the value of seeing people as a kind of sandwich with an adult self layered on top and a very active child. Once open to the concept, it is remarkable how often one finds...

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Attachment to Your Therapist Feb 28, 2022

Originally Published 7/10/2010.

 

*** Now Available: Attachment to Your Therapist: A Conversation. This series of posts in expanded E-Book form, on Amazon.***

A reader submitted this wonderfull comment:

Anyway, I've been in therapy, on and off, for about 12 years. Dealing with "neurosis" I...

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TIFT #45 A Window on the Mind tift Feb 15, 2022


How can we observe what goes on outside of consciousness? When we humans do things clearly against our own best interests and even against own free will, we can safely surmise that some other agency in the mind is at work. I call that agency the "nonconscious problem solver."...

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TIFT #44. Good Theory Improves Technique Feb 01, 2022

 

A theory is only a theory, a plausible explanation of reality. But, when a theory grows out of one area of science, then comes full circle and confirms a completely independent set of observations, we gain confidence. In the case of psychotherapy, knowledge coming out of teaching rodents...

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TIFT #43 The "Dread" in Perspective Jan 18, 2022

 

In TIFT #42, I introduced the idea of dread. It may have seemed dark, but It’s really hopeful. Why? Because at the time, long ago, when the mind first sought to avoid, there didn’t seem to be any alternative. But those bad times are over and now we have a better way. By facing...

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TIFT #42 "Following the Dread" Jan 04, 2022

 

 With this post, I’m proposing practical guidance to make psychotherapy more effective. The idea is simple. Giving ourselves and our clients the task of discovering what it is they most dread will turn out to be surprisingly helpful. Here’s why.

Essentially all of the EMPs...

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TIFT #41 It's the Love II–Bracing Dec 14, 2021

 

Thanks so much to the readers who commented on “It’s the Love,” Post #36. How often does a therapist get to participate in a genuine dialog with clients outside of a therapeutic relationship? I hope many therapists are taking the time to read the 25 comments on that...

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TIFT #40 Overcoming Therapeutic "Overchoice" Dec 07, 2021

 

According to Wikipedia, "Overchoice... is a cognitive impairment in which people have a difficult time making a decision when faced with many options.” As long as therapists have an infinite choice of things they might do next, the result is bound to be distressing and...

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TIFT #39 Psychotherapy's Near Surrender Nov 30, 2021

 

We've almost given up on theory and it matters

Joseph Priestly, a British clergyman and scientist was a believer in the then-current theory of phlogiston, which explained why putting a jar over a burning candle put out the flame. The flame was believed to produce...

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TIFT #38 Family Conflicts and Rifts Nov 23, 2021

 

This is a post for holiday time, when heightened needs and expectations so often lead to family conflict. In an update to a post published in 2006, I’m looking at it a bit more from a therapist’s point of view.

Kelly wrote, “In the past few years, having moved back...

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TIFT #37 Changing Thought and Behavior Nov 16, 2021

 

To direct or not to direct change?

Should therapists be invested in a particular target change? Psychodynamic as well as Rogerian Client Centered Therapy have a tradition of holding back opinions and not telling clients what to do. I’m going to argue that our actions should...

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TIFT #36 "It's The Love" Nov 09, 2021

 

“It’s the love,” that is what a good friend and experienced therapist dared to say some years ago. Let me take a break from the series of posts about therapist objectives to discuss recent comments about healing an intense attachment to one’s therapist.

A reader...

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